[This conversation, like every conversation about this they seem to have, just feels like rubbing salt in the wound. It's impossible to hide his frustration.]
It's not about what I need. It's about what you need.
[Unfortunately for both of them, he's physically incapable of that. Bellamy rolls his eyes, but he's not going to stop Murphy from grabbing the bottle off the floor.]
[ Instead of reaching for the bottle, Murphy takes Bellamy's hand. He's sorry. (Maybe disproportionately sorry, for someone who hasn't done much worse than make an ass of himself.) And afraid, as always. ]
You guys are doing right by me. Seriously. I don't need anything.
[He's startled by the sudden contact, and his hand closes around Murphy's reflexively at the rush of fear. By contrast, Bellamy is just frustratedโat the situation, at the botched communication, but most of all, at himself. Clarke and Murphy is all he's got of home here, and somehow he can't even handle this right.]
[ Though he's done Bellamy wrong, Murphy loves him fiercely. He's not even trying to hide it, despite the anxiousness that seems to accompany that emotion. Murphy's always one wrong step away from losing everything, and he feels it. ]
[If Bellamy is honest with himself, it's a little overwhelming. The only other person he's really experienced the empathy bond with in any significant way is Clarke, and everything she felt for him was expected.
The anxiety and fear he's feeling from Murphy is the part he really can't shake, the part he hasn't been able to shake since Murphy got here. He doesn't know how to alleviate it. Maybe he can't. And there's no point hiding his creeping guilt, especially not from Murphy, who now seems able to guess how he'll feel and react with little effort.]
[He's quiet for a moment, considering it. It was Clarke's suggestion, but Bellamy's not sure it'll actually help. In fact, it might just throw him off more.]
Like you said, seeing it isn't the same as living it.
[ Now that he's walking, Murphy's drunken wobble becomes slightly more obvious. But he's fine. He's perky - at least, as perky as Murphy ever gets - because he's only good at three (3) things and cooking is one of them. ]
When you're locked in a bunker by yourself for three months, you learn to get creative with MREs.
[ Time to peek in the fridge and see what their options are. ]
[Instinctively, Bellamy reaches out to steady Murphy when he leans a bit too much to one side. Is this a good idea? Maybe not, but it'll be fun to watch.]
I've eaten enough of that crap to last a few lifetimes.
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[ Banishment isn't so easily brushed off, even after all this time. Landing on the ground together wasn't enough then and it isn't enough now. ]
I'm with you. What more do you need?
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It's not about what I need. It's about what you need.
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I need another drink.
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Great plan.
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[ Instead of reaching for the bottle, Murphy takes Bellamy's hand. He's sorry. (Maybe disproportionately sorry, for someone who hasn't done much worse than make an ass of himself.) And afraid, as always. ]
You guys are doing right by me. Seriously. I don't need anything.
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Would you actually tell me if you did, Murphy?
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[ Though he's done Bellamy wrong, Murphy loves him fiercely. He's not even trying to hide it, despite the anxiousness that seems to accompany that emotion. Murphy's always one wrong step away from losing everything, and he feels it. ]
You were the only one I had for a long time.
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The anxiety and fear he's feeling from Murphy is the part he really can't shake, the part he hasn't been able to shake since Murphy got here. He doesn't know how to alleviate it. Maybe he can't. And there's no point hiding his creeping guilt, especially not from Murphy, who now seems able to guess how he'll feel and react with little effort.]
I'm holding you to that.
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Did you still wanna see it?
[ Their history. ]
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Like you said, seeing it isn't the same as living it.
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[ A good amount of Murphy's anxiety suddenly lifts in the moment just before he releases Bellamy's hand. ]
We don't need it.
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I don't feel like listening to you whine about algae.
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What would you rather hear me whine about?
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[But he's not going to get off that easy, soโ]
Work would be a new one.
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[ So there. He takes a swig from the bottle, then offers it to Bellamy. ]
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[But he'll take the bottle and drink, too.]
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[He actually didn't eat at all during his shift, but. Details.]
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[ Murphy picks himself up off the bed, beckoning for Bellamy to follow. ]
Let's feed you.
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Where'd you learn how to cook?
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When you're locked in a bunker by yourself for three months, you learn to get creative with MREs.
[ Time to peek in the fridge and see what their options are. ]
Even better with fresh food.
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I've eaten enough of that crap to last a few lifetimes.
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What're you in the mood for?
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