[ If only Raven were here. She could probably follow his line of thinking on this and put it into science-y terms, like she always does. Murphy's just fumbling here. ]
They just got the information. If my whole consciousness can fit on a string of code in a mind drive, why couldn't someone do the same thing wireless?
Who knows? People in Sanctum think I'm a god, too. Tell a good story and desperate idiots will believe anything. Someone probably saw the glow and thought it was magic.
[Bellamy's gaze shifts back to the city lights as he mulls it over. It's really not the wildest thing he's ever heard. The only other explanation he's seen thrown around is that they were dragged here and made gods somehow.]
I don't even know how we'd prove or disprove it.
[Or what that would mean for them. He's very carefully not considering the nitty gritty details or their implications.]
[Bellamy's not sure how he'd feel about it if he followed that idea to its logical conclusion. More vitally, he doesn't really feel like he has time to consider it too heavily when they've got a crisis looming.]
[ Murphy scoffs and turns his face up to Bellamy. He's quiet for a moment, considering, as the feeling that he missed something nags at him. Then it hits him, and he reaches up to graze the line of Bellamy's jaw with his knuckle, longing and rueful all over again. ]
[It's not an easy question to answer. He's not sure how much he actually likes this world, despite its upsides. It's certainly far better than a dead Earth, and maybe better than Sanctum, but it has its own problems.
He sighs, catching Murphy's hand and lacing their fingers together.]
I want our people to be safe. I miss our friends.
[Which isn't quite an answer, butβ]
If we were trapped here and I knew they were happy back home, I could figure out a way to deal with that.
[But that's the problemβthey have no idea if their friends are safe. He has no idea if Octavia is okay.]
[ So that's why Bellamy's so resistant to even the suggestion of settling here. There's a twinge of guilt as Murphy once more regrets saying anything, trying to talk Bellamy out of his hope. ]
They were happy and safe the last time I saw them.
[ With Clarke as Sanctum's dictator, who knows how long that would last? But it's something to hold on to. ]
[The truth is, Bellamy prefers hard truths over pleasant lies. He'd rather hear Murphy's theories, even if they aren't optimistic. And while his reassurance doesn't allay all of Bellamy's concerns, he's still grateful for it.]
I hope they stay that way. What about you? If you had the choice?
[ That theory isn't just a theory. It's a fear. What would he do if he returned to Sanctum only to find he'd never left it? He sure as hell wouldn't welcome a redundant copy of himself with open arms. Part of him hopes they never find a way out of this world, because he can't bear to confront that reality. Or worse: to discover he's already dead. ]
I'd stay here.
[ The illusion of a life is better than nothing. ]
[It's not like Bellamy begrudges him for that answer. Even with its dangers, they're safer in New Amsterdam than they ever were on the ground. Minus the shrines and shady corporations, they're living almost normal lives. Of course Murphy wants that. Bellamy would let himself want that more honestly if it didn't feel like a betrayal to his sister and the others.
Except there's something in the way Murphy says it, the way he doesn't really elaborate, that makes Bellamy think he means something else too, and his heart twists. He's quiet for a second, fingers combing through Murphy's hair.]
Clarke might be right. Maybe there's a way to get everyone here.
[Admittedly, he knows Clarke is doubting her own plan now, too.]
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You think... What? They stuck mind drives into all of us? Before or after they dragged us here?
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[ If only Raven were here. She could probably follow his line of thinking on this and put it into science-y terms, like she always does. Murphy's just fumbling here. ]
They just got the information. If my whole consciousness can fit on a string of code in a mind drive, why couldn't someone do the same thing wireless?
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So you think we're backups and none of this is real? Like the City of Light?
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[ It's not like he ever saw it. ]
So I guess what I'm saying is... This is real. You and me, we're really here right now. But we weren't brought here. We were made here.
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That sounds like a lot of effort.
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You never went missing. Neither did Clarke. I don't know how to explain that if it isn't because none of us ever actually left.
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[He finally lets his hand drop, studying Murphy more seriously.]
How much of this theory is you being afraid to hope we can get back?
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[ And he is trying not to be insulted by that assumption. ]
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[Okay, he'll concede that point a little.]
I'm just trying to figure out where your head's at. If we are copies, where does the cult comes in? The shrines?
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I don't even know how we'd prove or disprove it.
[Or what that would mean for them. He's very carefully not considering the nitty gritty details or their implications.]
I wish we had Raven.
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[ It'd be nice if they could do better than paranoid theorizing. Murphy hugs Bellamy's arm loosely, cheek coming to rest on his shoulder again. ]
I don't think it changes anything. We're still us.
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[Bellamy's not sure how he'd feel about it if he followed that idea to its logical conclusion. More vitally, he doesn't really feel like he has time to consider it too heavily when they've got a crisis looming.]
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[ He shouldn't have said anything, probably. Now Bellamy's burdened with the idea. ]
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That's not new for us.
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Do you wanna go back?
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He sighs, catching Murphy's hand and lacing their fingers together.]
I want our people to be safe. I miss our friends.
[Which isn't quite an answer, butβ]
If we were trapped here and I knew they were happy back home, I could figure out a way to deal with that.
[But that's the problemβthey have no idea if their friends are safe. He has no idea if Octavia is okay.]
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They were happy and safe the last time I saw them.
[ With Clarke as Sanctum's dictator, who knows how long that would last? But it's something to hold on to. ]
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I hope they stay that way. What about you? If you had the choice?
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I'd stay here.
[ The illusion of a life is better than nothing. ]
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[He says it quietly. He can guess all the reasons why Murphy would, but he wants to hear them.]
Why?
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[ And he would clarify that, maybe, but Bellamy's already making plans to leave, so it's probably best left unsaid. ]
Too much to risk losing it.
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Except there's something in the way Murphy says it, the way he doesn't really elaborate, that makes Bellamy think he means something else too, and his heart twists. He's quiet for a second, fingers combing through Murphy's hair.]
Clarke might be right. Maybe there's a way to get everyone here.
[Admittedly, he knows Clarke is doubting her own plan now, too.]
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