[Of course they wouldn't, but somewhere safe is all he really wants. Somewhere they can just live instead of constantly waiting for the next betrayal or disaster, and this entire thing is making him more unsure about Clarke's plan to bring their people here. Would it be better? Now that this Riverstone situation has hammered home how precarious their position is, he doesn't even know anymore.
But pretending is nice. He can let himself do that, even if just for a few seconds. Bellamy closes that distance and rests his forehead against Murphy's. The conversation has calmed him down, and so his anxiety and frustration is just at a usual low level hum. He's too focused on Murphy to let it be anything else, and that hint of longing makes how he feels about this obvious enough.]
[ Murphy laughs, a spark of warmth that rises up so fast it surprises even him. There's still a rueful edge to his mood, mostly thanks to his ever-present awareness that the only way they can feel anything close to hopeful is by lying to each other about a life they'll never have. It's evened out by the fact that Bellamy's even speaking to him, holding him. ]
Yeah, we're doing awesome.
[ He gives Bellamy an affectionate nuzzle, palm cradling his face like he wants to make sure he can't escape. ]
[ Thinking about Emori, as long as they're indefinitely separated, will always cut like a knife. But the worst of that pain is dulled as long as he's in Bellamy's arms, and if he's expecting some kind of guilt for that on Murphy's part, there isn't any. ]
[ He's doing his best to tamp down his own rising dread. Thinking about this too hard when he's alone sends him into a spiral, but Bellamy is here to anchor him, and he's clinging to that. ]
The mind drive. What the Primes used to move their consciousness from their dead body to a new one. Just like the Flame kept a backup of all the Commanders. I don't know if my body died or whoever brought us here just managed to copy my data. I think Clarke's an earlier version, and that's why she doesn't remember as much as I do. You're even earlier. And Lexa.
I think these bodies are reconstructed from that data. Why we're all connected here, why we can do things we could never do before. I know how crazy that sounds, but if the Commanders and the Primes could hop from body to body on ancient tech, imagine what engineers in a world this advanced could do with the same idea.
[ If only Raven were here. She could probably follow his line of thinking on this and put it into science-y terms, like she always does. Murphy's just fumbling here. ]
They just got the information. If my whole consciousness can fit on a string of code in a mind drive, why couldn't someone do the same thing wireless?
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But pretending is nice. He can let himself do that, even if just for a few seconds. Bellamy closes that distance and rests his forehead against Murphy's. The conversation has calmed him down, and so his anxiety and frustration is just at a usual low level hum. He's too focused on Murphy to let it be anything else, and that hint of longing makes how he feels about this obvious enough.]
We got a good start on the zero murder streak.
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Yeah, we're doing awesome.
[ He gives Bellamy an affectionate nuzzle, palm cradling his face like he wants to make sure he can't escape. ]
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So, what? You want to go past the wall? Live in the woods again?
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[ Murphy kisses the corner of his mouth. ]
I know how to survive out there a hell of a lot better than I do in this city.
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It'd be better than dealing with these crowds.
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[ He brushes a kiss over Bellamy's lips without lingering. Just a suggestion. ]
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What about everyone back home?
[Way to kill the mood, whatever mood they had going.]
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It sounds like they're safer there than they would be here.
[ At least Sanctum was under their control. ]
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That's not what I mean.
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So what do you mean?
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Are you convinced we'll never go back, or do you prefer not to think about it?
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I don't... think there's anything for me to go back to.
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What do you mean?
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[ He's doing his best to tamp down his own rising dread. Thinking about this too hard when he's alone sends him into a spiral, but Bellamy is here to anchor him, and he's clinging to that. ]
I'm pretty sure I'm the backup code.
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What are you talking about?
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The mind drive. What the Primes used to move their consciousness from their dead body to a new one. Just like the Flame kept a backup of all the Commanders. I don't know if my body died or whoever brought us here just managed to copy my data. I think Clarke's an earlier version, and that's why she doesn't remember as much as I do. You're even earlier. And Lexa.
I think these bodies are reconstructed from that data. Why we're all connected here, why we can do things we could never do before. I know how crazy that sounds, but if the Commanders and the Primes could hop from body to body on ancient tech, imagine what engineers in a world this advanced could do with the same idea.
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You think... What? They stuck mind drives into all of us? Before or after they dragged us here?
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[ If only Raven were here. She could probably follow his line of thinking on this and put it into science-y terms, like she always does. Murphy's just fumbling here. ]
They just got the information. If my whole consciousness can fit on a string of code in a mind drive, why couldn't someone do the same thing wireless?
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So you think we're backups and none of this is real? Like the City of Light?
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[ It's not like he ever saw it. ]
So I guess what I'm saying is... This is real. You and me, we're really here right now. But we weren't brought here. We were made here.
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That sounds like a lot of effort.
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You never went missing. Neither did Clarke. I don't know how to explain that if it isn't because none of us ever actually left.
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[He finally lets his hand drop, studying Murphy more seriously.]
How much of this theory is you being afraid to hope we can get back?
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